‘Better to talk about it’: Indians urged to share their grief as COVID takes heavy toll

Tabassum Dhorajiwala was wedged between two corpses in a hospital corridor while she waited for her husband’s body.

The 39-year-old Mumbai resident lost her husband to COVID during Ramadan last year and the trauma of trying to unsuccessfully save his life and then facing a lot of difficulties claiming his body for the last rites continues to haunt her.

“That night was the most horrifying moment of my life. It appears so unreal now, but back then, I had cold shivers,” Tabassum told Salaam Gateway.

Already devastated by the loss of her husband, other circumstances pushed her into depression -- her mother became infected with the coronavirus while she and her two children were asymptomatic.

“People treated us like dirt. We got isolated.

"For 40 days I was not taking any phone calls, only messages which I forwarded to a friend. I was just on my musalla and crying.”

Tabassum’s grief is similar to that of the surviving families of 283,248 COVID deaths in India as of May 19.

With fatalities recently crossing 4,500 a day and active cases surpassing 25 million, India is in the midst of a deadly second COVID wave.

What cannot be tabulated is the emotional and mental toll on the population.

Psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr. Syeda Ruksheda told Salaam Gateway there is a definite increase in the number of people with mental health issues.

“We don’t know how to mourn,” said the Mumbai-based specialist who has a practice in Lokhandwala and also counsels at Millat Hospital that has a large Muslim patient base.

She has found that people don’t want others to visit them when there is a death in the family, fearing for the health and safety of the aged and children.

She is aware of increasing numbers attending mental health clinics but believes a lot more are affected.

“People tend to brazen it out. Besides, many have left the city. The extent of people going through mental health issues cannot be exactly enumerated from attendance at the clinics,” said the doctor.

The trauma and grief caused by COVID adds to the prevalence of India’s mental health issues.

In a 2017 publication, the World Health Organization estimated 4.5% of the population had depressive disorders and another 3% had anxiety. That’s an estimated 94 million people in total.

India’s suicide rate has also been increasing, from 6.3 per 100,000 of the population in 1978 to 8.9 in 1990 to 16.3 in 2017.

Unfortunately, public stigma surrounding mental health-related issues stops more Indians from seeking help.

Addressing these numbers, India’s Mental Healthcare Act of 2017 makes access to treatment and care compulsory. However, the dedicated resources are not sufficient.

According to the WHO in 2017, per 100,000 of the population, there were 0.29 psychiatrists, 0.07 psychologists, 0.8 mental health nurses, 0.06 social workers, 0.03 occupational therapists, and 0.17 speech therapists.

It’s safe to assume that a lot more of India’s population are now affected mental health-wise because of the pandemic but as it is, the public health system can barely cope with the large numbers of COVID cases.

Dr. Syeda explained that loneliness in grief, confinement in homes and not being with family and friends during mourning are taking a toll on a lot of people.

For India’s 200 million Muslims, there has also not been the usual access to community support as most states remain under lockdown, which has meant no communal Ramadan or Eid prayers and celebrations.

Understanding the need for social and community interactions, some tried to re-open mosques. But authorities decided on the side of public health and safety.

Shuaib Khatib, the chairperson of the Juma Masjid in Mumbai, had his petition seeking permission for Ramadan congregational prayers dismissed by the High Court.

Farid Shaikh, who is associated with the NGO Aman Committee that works among Mumbai’s Muslims, could not convince the Maharashtra state government to ease restrictions on Ramadan congregational prayers and bazaar activities.

Not being able to perform the obligatory prayers and celebrate Eid due to COVID restrictions was “painful”, said Farid.

The general feeling among Muslims is that the inability to perform their religious practices has an implication beyond just the celebratory or ritualistic but has social and psychological implications, too.

In this context, the inability to neither perform communal Ramadan and Eid rituals nor engage in simple social interactions could be bringing about biological changes in the body and brain that can affect the mental health of people, said Dr. Syeda.

In dysfunctional families, long and restless confinements could further aggravate pre-existing issues, she added.

‘BETTER TO TALK ABOUT IT’

Dr. Syeda and other mental health professionals such as at NIMHANS, Mpower 1 on 1, Mastermind Foundation, and Kashmir Lifeline, are not alone in providing care. Scores of volunteers at help groups such as Chennai’s Sneha and Kolkata-based Lifeline Foundation are also doing their part.

There are also mental health apps, such as Evergreen Club that targets the elderly, self-care platform Innerhouse, Mindhouse and ThinkRight.me that focus on meditation, iWill, and Wysa.

“It’s okay to not be okay but it’s better to talk about it,” Dr. Syeda says on social media, appealing to those who are suffering in silence.

“Call, even if it's just a vent. People can and should call if they are suffering from any form of sadness, anxiety or depression.”

One person who has heard the appeal is Tabassum, who now shares her grief publicly because she wants people to know that help is just a call away.

She knows of people who have contemplated suicide and hopes that by sharing her own story, she can draw them out of their grief.

“I didn’t want to tell my story because I would just end up being an object of sympathy for people. I didn’t want to be a ‘bechari’ (pitiable),” she said.

“But if I can, you can,” said Tabassum, speaking to the millions of Indians emotionally and mentally affected by the pandemic.

© SalaamGateway.com 2021 All Rights Reserved